Writing Endo | Update #endometriosis #endometriosisawareness #chronicillness #chronicpain #healthupdate

Hello!

Welcome back to Writing Endo. This blog is meant to be a place where I can sort my feelings about this diagnosis, but also, I’m hoping it can be a place of education and advocacy.

A gentle reminder that I am not a doctor and if you are experiencing symptoms that are concerning, you should seek a medical professional’s opinion.

I’m not feeling well today, so this is just a quick post. I have my post-op appointment today and am really hoping to know what the next step is.

I’ll update with any info tomorrow and fingers crossed my pain won’t be so horrible then, too.

💛


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Writing Endo | Stronger #endometriosis #endometriosisawareness #chronicillness #chronicpain

Hello!

Welcome back to Writing Endo. This blog is meant to be a place where I can sort my feelings about this diagnosis, but also, I’m hoping it can be a place of education and advocacy.

A gentle reminder that I am not a doctor and if you are experiencing symptoms that are concerning, you should seek a medical professional’s opinion.

We’ve all heard the saying:

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Toxic positivity is a real thing. As a society, we are all about positive vibes and believing that it isn’t okay to not be okay. That somehow, when we suffer, we are meant to bounce back immediately, because we are stronger now.

Blah.

I disagree. I’m only stronger now, because I put in the work. My pain didn’t do crap for me. It’s ruined so much. It’s put me in situations I never thought I’d have to endure. I’ve lost relationships, finances, freedoms, peace of mind. My pain isn’t my friend. And I’ll never look at it like one.

I made me stronger. I saw my life slipping and I got help. I found a therapist. I fought for 5 years to get a diagnosis. I’m still fighting to be pain free.

But I’m not grateful for the experience. I’d rather live my life as a normal, 31-year-old woman, contributing to society with a solid career and a family.

Instead, I live on disability, constantly fighting the societal stigma that I’m lazy because I don’t work a 9-5, and constantly fighting my body. Struggling to live my life while letting my body rest.

Pain isn’t glamorous. I’m not being rewarded because of my pain. I’m living the life I’m living now, because I put in the work.

So, I think the statement would be more fitting if it read:

Pain tried to kill me, so I put in the work to survive.

💛

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Writing Endo | Rest #endometriosis #endometriosisawareness #chronicillness #chronicpain

Hello!

Welcome back to Writing Endo. This blog is meant to be a place where I can sort my feelings about this diagnosis, but also, I’m hoping it can be a place of education and advocacy.

A gentle reminder that I am not a doctor and if you are experiencing symptoms that are concerning, you should seek a medical professional’s opinion.

I like this quote a lot, so decided to share a picture of it. I think it describes what people with chronic illness struggle with.

To rest or not to rest, that is the question.

The answer, for me at least, is usually met with a lot of resistance from my anxiety. Lying in bed all day is such a waste, right?

Not always.

The thing is, if our body is saying we need to rest and we don’t, we are just making every day after that, harder.

This really applies to any person out there, not just people with chronic illness. If you need to take a day of rest, it doesn’t make you lazy. It makes you self-aware.

Grab your favorite book or turn on that show you’ve been binging, and take the day to rest.

💛

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Writing Endo | Diet #endometriosis #endometriosisawareness #chronicillness #chronicpain

Hello!

Welcome back to Writing Endo. This blog is meant to be a place where I can sort my feelings about this diagnosis, but also, I’m hoping it can be a place of education and advocacy.

A gentle reminder that I am not a doctor and if you are experiencing symptoms that are concerning, you should seek a medical professional’s opinion.

I’m shifting gears today and talking about something more practical, rather than how I feel, because frankly, I feel awful. Harping on that fact isn’t helping, so let’s talk about something that could:

Diet.

I’ve been doing a lot of research about what I can do while I wait for things like medicine and pelvic floor physical therapy. It’s no secret that I’ve gained weight, and I’m uncomfortable about it. Also, Endometriosis is a chronic inflammatory disease, and so it stands to reason that cutting out food that causes inflammation would help.

The cool thing about the suggestions for a endo diet is that I could help my pain and lose weight.

Cutting out gluten, dairy, wheat, sugar, soy, and (red) meat is what most articles suggest and what I’m going to attempt.

I’ve already tried a gluten free diet, and honestly, it helped. I also very rarely have dairy. Sugar is my downfall, so that will be the hardest. While I eat meat, I truly believe I could be a vegetarian because it isn’t something I care all that much about or crave…so I think eliminating red meat will be easy.

I think this diet is attainable. I’m excited to try it.

💛


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Writing Endo | Say #endometriosis #endometriosisawareness #chronicillness #chronicpain #mentalhealth

Hello!

Welcome back to Writing Endo. This blog is meant to be a place where I can sort my feelings about this diagnosis, but also, I’m hoping it can be a place of education and advocacy.

A gentle reminder that I am not a doctor and if you are experiencing symptoms that are concerning, you should seek a medical professional’s opinion.

I see a lot of articles out there about what not to say to people with chronic illness. This is good info because toxic positivity is such a common thing–and most people aren’t doing it on purpose.

I’d rather be a healthy positive today. So, I’m breaking down five things to say to people with chronic illness.

1. You look great. How do you really feel?

Often people with invisible illnesses don’t look sick, because, well… the illness is invisible. It’s difficult for us to prove we don’t feel well, because sometimes we wear things that make us look healthy, or we seem happy.

This example is a compliment to our effort to look like a normal person, as well as validating because it shows you’re aware we are sick.

2. Is there anything I can do to help, do you need to vent, or do you need space?

Sometimes we are afraid to ask for help. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do for us, but we need to get it off our chest. Sometimes, we just need to sit alone.

Giving these options shows you’re aware that our needs may not be the same as they were the day before, and you’re actively interested in being there for us. It gives us a bit more confidence in actually asking for help.

3. (When setting up plans) We will call these plans tentative. If we have to postpone, that is absolutely fine.

I wrote a post about canceling. If you’re not a chronic illness patient, it’s hard to understand. How we feel can change minute by minute. Sure, we are aware of specific triggers for our pain, but, we don’t always know when it’s going to be bad. Especially days before.

Letting us know that you won’t be mad if there’s a cancelation (and you don’t actually get mad if it does happen) helps us feel comfortable leaving the house. When people in my life do get angry because of a cancelation, it makes me not want to make plans. The understanding helps that.

4. If you don’t know, ask.

Speaking for myself, I obviously have no issue talking about endometriosis. If a friend or family member wasn’t sure about something, I’d rather when ask me than assume.

I also prefer when people ask me if I can do an activity, rather than assuming I can’t. I can walk… maybe not as fast as I could before, but I can do it. I know my body, and I can manage how much I do to avoid a flare as best as I can.

5. Be encouraging.

Nothing grinds my gears more than when someone who isn’t dealing with endometriosis gives me unsolicited advice. “Have you tried [insert random healing options]?

I probably have tried it. I’ve been doing this for five years. Having to re-explain the things I’ve tried gets exhausting. Instead, encouraging us to do whatever we can that day, is a much better option.

💛


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Writing Endo | Update #endometriosis #endometriosisawareness #chronicillness #chronicpain #healthupdate

Hello!

Welcome back to Writing Endo. This blog is meant to be a place where I can sort my feelings about this diagnosis, but also, I’m hoping it can be a place of education and advocacy.

A gentle reminder that I am not a doctor and if you are experiencing symptoms that are concerning, you should seek a medical professional’s opinion.

I had my diagnostic laparoscopy on August 26th, 2021 after five years of not know what was wrong. While I tried to keep my hopes to a minimum, when I found my current doctor, I had more hope than I’d had in a long time.

The week after surgery, I experienced a lot of nausea, dizziness, and pain. Of course, this was to be expected, because, well… I’d just had surgery.

Week two was similar but better. I could do more, and I could leave my house. Things were progressing in a very exciting way. I was having some pain free days, which I haven’t had in a very long time.

Today marks the third week. I’m not feeling well, and my normal pain has returned. This feels like a high pain flare up, but it could be my usual. When I have pain free days, I think I forget how bad the pain is, and when it comes back, it feels worse.

I don’t think this is surgery pain anymore. It is around the time I should get my period, and this is usually how I start feeling right before.

I’m a little disheartened by this. I’d really hoped the pain would be better… but endometriosis is not a predictable disease. There is no cure, and therefore, it is possible to still have pain post laparoscopy.

As good as I’ve been with my mental health, and as prepared as I was to possibly still have pain, I am battling the depression right now. I’m struggling to find fullilment or joy in things, and I’m moody. This is definitely a combination that I get when my period is on its way, so I’m taking that into account too. Thankfully, I have my coping skills, (which I’ll share in a future blog post), so I’m doing okay, considering.

I have my postoperative appointment on September 21st. I look forward to seeing what the next step is and I will share anything I find out.

💛

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Writing Endo | Flare #endometriosis #endometriosisawareness #chronicillness #chronicpain #mentalhealth

Hello!

Welcome back to Writing Endo. This blog is meant to be a place where I can sort my feelings about this diagnosis, but also, I’m hoping it can be a place of education and advocacy.

A gentle reminder that I am not a doctor and if you are experiencing symptoms that are concerning, you should seek a medical professional’s opinion.

I live alone, with my cat named Steven. I like being alone, and I’m happy where I am. But that doesn’t negate the fact that night time is the hardest time for me to cope.

Night time also seems to be when my pain flares up quite a bit. So, of course, it’s when I’m most alone. Sure, there are people that are awake late at night, but, there are times I need to do this on my own, because this is something I’m going to have to deal with until the pain stops or we get a cure.

So, today, I’m going over some of the things I do when my pain flares up. These are things that work for me, and may not work for you. I can’t stress enough to consult with your doctor and do things that you’re comfortable with.

*Some links may contain affiliate links. Jessica Belmont is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com

1. Heating pads. I have been doing some research on portable heating pads because the one I have is not wireless and I think it would be nice to use it anywhere. This is the one I’m currently looking at: *portable heating pad. Heat tends to alleviate some of the pain in my pelvis.

2. Ice. If it’s too hot for a heat pad, I use ice. I really like something like this: *ice pad, because it comes with a strap that you can wrap around your body. I like the convenience and it doesn’t shift around as much.

3. Hot baths. I like to light a candle, grab a book (be careful not to drop it in the water!), and take a bath when my pain flares. I love *Epsom salts and I use this particular one all the time. It’s relaxing and seems to add an extra layer to the bath.

4. Meditation. I love the Headspace app. It does cost money, but it was within my budget. I often combine this with the things above. It helps me calm down. One of my favorite things about Headspace is that there is a meditation for pain. It won’t take it away, but it definitely helps the mental health struggles that come with a flare up. This isn’t an affiliate link. If you have Headspace, I’d love to be a buddy!

5. Yoga. It seems counter-intuitive to exercise while in excruciating pain, but gentle yoga really helps me. Emphasis on gentle. YouTube has quite a few options for yoga, and if you type ‘gentle yoga’ or ‘yoga for chronic pain,’ you can find gentle exercises. Yoga is also a calming activity that really grounds me at times.

These are my top 5 go-tos when my pain flares. I’d love to have a discussion in the comment section, so if there’s something you do that really helps, please feel free to share.

💛

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Writing Endo | Emergency #endometriosis #endometriosisawareness #chronicillness #chronicpain #mentalhealth

Hello!

Welcome back to Writing Endo. This blog is meant to be a place where I can sort my feelings about this diagnosis, but also, I’m hoping it can be a place of education and advocacy.

A gentle reminder that I am not a doctor and if you are experiencing symptoms that are concerning, you should seek a medical professional’s opinion.

I have experienced dehumanizing doctor appointments over the last five years. Sprinkled in there, I definitely had incredible doctors, too, but some were just so frustrating.

However, some of the worst experiences I’ve had were in the hospital. The few times I went to the emergency room because I was in incredible amounts of pain, it did not go the way I expected.

For example: I was taken by ambulance once, screaming in pain, and they sent me home without so much as an aspirin because I was “healthy” and the one scan they ran came back normal.

I used to be angry about this, but I’m writing this post today, because I’ve learned so much about the medical community and how each part plays a role in care.

The emergency room is not equipped to diagnose unless your case is deemed an emergency.

The pain felt like an emergency, absolutely. However, after running their scans, it was determined that I wasn’t dying/in need of immediate care, so a specialist outside of the hospital could help me.

And as frustrating as that is, it makes sense.

However, it doesn’t excuse a lot of the behavior. Chronic pain patients are often labeled drug seekers. Our records often show multiple visits to emergency, so we must be just looking for drugs.

Despite the potential frustrations, it is still important to go if there’s a chance it is an emergency. Which is why I’ve gone the few times that I have.

However, I’ve learned to manage my expectations for the experience. The emergency department isn’t going to fix me, they are going to ensure my situation isn’t an emergency and then send me home.

And with managing my expectations in this way, I find myself having less anxiety if I do need to go.

💛

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Writing Endo | Cancelation #endometriosis #endometriosisawareness #chronicillness #chronicpain #mentalhealth

Hello!

Welcome back to Writing Endo. This blog is meant to be a place where I can sort my feelings about this diagnosis, but also, I’m hoping it can be a place of education and advocacy.

A gentle reminder that I am not a doctor and if you are experiencing symptoms that are concerning, you should seek a medical professional’s opinion.

Plans are hard to make when you don’t know how you’re going to feel day-to-day.

There was a time in my life where I could make plans, and I rarely broke them. Sure, occasionally, I’d end up with a cold or something unforeseeable would happen, and I’d have to reschedule.

Now, though? Now, I’m afraid to make plans. I’m afraid to set anything in stone, because I feel like such a disappointment when I have to cancel on someone. And, unfortunately, it happens a lot.

I can go to bed one night, feeling relatively decent, and wake up in excruciating pain.

I can feel fine, and then an hour later, I can be so exhausted I can’t keep my eyes open.

And to top it off, I was diagnosed with the wonderful mental health disorder called agoraphobia, which is a fear of leaving the house because there’s a possibility of panic, helplessness, or embarrassment.

The agoraphobic part of my brain learned very early on, that mimicking high pain or exhaustion will cause me to stay home. So, every time I feel like I can’t do something, I have to figure out if it’s part of my condition or my mental health.

If I determine it’s the agoraphobia, I will do everything in my power to keep the plans, because if I don’t, I end up stuck in my house and depression takes over.

However, if I determine it’s my condition…well…I have to cancel.

The worst part about canceling isn’t missing out on plans.

It’s the guilt trip I put on myself.

It’s the guilt trip from the people who don’t understand.

It’s disappointing the people who do understand.

It’s feeling like I’m not worth the struggle.

On the other hand, I need to listen to my body.

I’m slowly learning, it’s okay to not be okay. I have to do what is right for me. Hopefully, there’s a way to manage my symptoms, which will allow me to get back to normal. Until then, beating myself up for things I can’t control isn’t productive.

💛


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Writing Endo | Creativity #endometriosis #endometriosisawareness #chronicillness #chronicpain #mentalhealth

Hello!

Welcome back to Writing Endo. This blog is meant to be a place where I can sort my feelings about this diagnosis, but also, I’m hoping it can be a place of education and advocacy.

A gentle reminder that I am not a doctor and if you are experiencing symptoms that are concerning, you should seek a medical professional’s opinion.

I chose the name for this blog because of my passion for writing. I also chose it because creative outlets are one of the ways I get through bad pain and bad mental health days.

When this started, and I was forced to stop working, I started a book blog. It started small, but eventually, I was reading and reviewing a lot of books. Reading and then focusing on writing out thoughtful, meaningful reviews has always been a good way to keep my mind focused.

I’m also writing a book. I will be the first to admit that my mental health is the biggest reason that book isn’t out yet. But…writing keeps me calm. So, I’m not as much upset that it isn’t out, as I am grateful to have the outlet.

I crochet. I just started an editing business. I like to color adult coloring books. There are a lot of crafts I want to learn and try.

This is how I keep myself on track. I feel productive when I work in these creative outlets and they keep my brain busy.

Pre-covid, I was going to a center that held free, creative classes for those with mental health issues. I hope to return once the world opens up a bit more.

The moral of this blog post is finding things I’m passionate about can be the difference between lying in bed and being productive. I’m not saying I don’t have bad days. I do. There are plenty of times when I can’t even read. But…on those days when I need a little push, this is what I do.

💛


  • Check out my disclaimer
  • Find me all over the internet!
  • If you’d like to support my journey, you can check out my ‘buy me a coffee’ page, here!
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